Sunday, January 22, 2012


Sethy...I keep waiting for that moment when I realize I wasn't thinking about you for a second. For that moment when I am sitting on facebook not looking through pictures of your handsome, beautiful face. I hate going through the "whats if's" and "why's" in my head all day long. I have to remind myself that I too have had moments of weakness. Moments when it seems nothing in life will ever be right. My moments just turned out differently. I am not angry with you, I am angry with myself. I have had your cell number in my phone for EVER, and I don't think I have ever once texted you just to say hi or I miss you. I'm so sorry! Hi Seth, I really miss you. I have to tell you how funny I think it is that Naomi Olmstead always teased you by saying you look asian, cause know all she talks about it adopting a little asian baby. I think she was secretly jealous. It's impossible for me to say the names of "the boys" without saying your name too. It's so unnatural. Every time I try I just cry.Ryan told me a story years ago that I never will forget. You took him into Daniels room while he was gone and started messing with his things. Dan got home and got mad and mom asked you if anyone went into the room with you, you said no it was just you, you got in trouble and than turned around and with tears still on your face you smiled at Ryan and gave him a thumbs up. That is honorable. One of the last times I was out visiting, you and Levi and Mark sat up with me and Annie Hammond just talking about all the things we did growing up. It was sometime after 1:00am that you somehow persuaded us to go get you food. I'm pretty sure your exact words were "hey, so you should go get me taco bell" I'm so glad we did. Even if Annie was sooo intoxicated that when we pulled up to order she practically screamed "Do you think they'll know I'm drunk?" right into the speaker. It was a good story when we got home. You must have been starving cause you inhaled whatever the heck it was I brought to you :) You're welcome, by the way. I should apologize for teasing you so much that you were gonna marry Holly Marie Madill, but honestly, she was the only girl who could put up with your crap, so I'm not going too. It seems like just yesterday I was on the phone with mom and she was yelling at you and Mike Bassett to stop wrestling. I wondered, who was this poor kid you somehow managed to trick into being your main target for abuse, aka your "best friend"? I never, ever imagined I would meet him so soon and under such circumstances. I know we will be together quicker than we can even comprehend, our life is like the morning fog--it's here a little while, then it's gone. It's so weird to think a little over a year ago I thought I would be the first one to Heaven. Even though I was only privileged enough to see you maybe once a year, life is going to be much less exciting without you in It. But maybe that's Gods plan. I know I can't wait to get to heaven now, and I'm going to work hard to be sure I get there. But don't worry, we're all gonna try and get Mikey there too ;-) I love you so much little brother.

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